Do you have concerns that your partner is cheating on you, but can’t point to anything egregious they’re doing? Do you find yourself struggling with trust because of how your partner behaves? If you answered yes to either one of these questions, then you’re probably dealing with some form of “micro-cheating” and would do well to read on!
Read more3 Psychological Impacts of Sudden Life Disruptions and Accidents
Do you sometimes wonder why suddenly disturbing things that happened to you rattle you to the core? Do you often find it difficult to deal with changes that might seem insignificant to another person? If you do, then you’re probably struggling with the impact of sudden disruptions and accidents, so please read on!
Read moreCouples Therapy for Overcoming Family of Origin Conflicts
Do you sometimes think that your current relationship isn’t like when you were growing up? Do you sometimes find that you’re bumping up against expectations from your parents when you were growing up that seemed to cause friction in your spouse relationship now? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you do need to read this blog post.
Read moreHow Survivors of School Violence Recover From Trauma
Do you wonder how survivors of school violence work through their trauma? Are you someone who has experienced one or more incidents of school violence and wonder if you will ever fully recover? If you answered yes to either one of these questions then encourage you to read on!
School Violence Is a Huge Problem In Our Time
We are living in a time when there are literally more mass shootings than there are days in the year here in our country, so how victims of school violence recover from their trauma is such a tremendously important issue to address. School violence isn’t only limited to school shootings, as bullying has been around a long time also. I will discuss some examples of how various victims of the school shootings in Parkland Florida have coped with theirs in the public eye.
Becoming Active as a Way to Cope
You may have seen several of the victims of the Lakeland, Florida school shooting organize the famous March For Our Lives about 8 to 10 years ago. This was the brainchild of David Hogg and several others who as students felt moved to engage in mass demonstration and protest as a way to cope with their trauma. This is a great way to connect with other individuals, especially as a young person who is very much into socialization as a way to address one’s own trauma. The value of social connections in recovery from trauma can never be understated, and is used in many treatment programs, including those that the Veterans Administration has conducted over the years.
Finding Meaning in Your Experience
One of the victims of the mass shooting in Lakeland, Florida, dedicated his career in major league baseball to the victims of the school shooting, particularly those that did not survive. Coby Mayo, who currently plays for the Baltimore Orioles has stated that his career is a testament and a memorial to those who suffered and died in that school shooting. It’s very important to find meaning and purpose in recovery from this kind of experience. The famous author, Victor Frankl, who wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning, has created an entire form of therapy orchestrated around using meaning and purpose to guide one's life and recover from all kinds of devastating emotional experiences.
Getting Therapy Help to Recover
Without knowing whether either of these young men included any individual therapy for the trauma of school violence, it is important to seek out this kind of help sooner or later in order to fully address the aftermath of this kind of thing. Having a way to neutralize the effect of devastating trauma of this kind on your nervous system is extremely important in fully recovering from the kind of “Big T“ trauma that school violence, like school shootings, is about. There are several types of trauma therapy that can be effective in this situation, including EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Others include Image Transformation Therapy, or ImTT. The main thing is to find help that seems to help you make progress in recovering from whatever trauma you’re experiencing.
What If You Need Therapy Help?
I’ve been helping my clients recover from the effects of all kinds of trauma for my entire social work career, and can definitely emphasize the importance of seeking help for experiences of school violence. I use both EMDR and ImTT, and would be happy to chat with you briefly to give you a better idea of whether I can help you with your trauma experience if you live in MD or VA. Just click the schedule consultation button above, call the phone number at the top of the page, or fill out the inquiry form below, and I will get back to you ASAP to schedule this important matter. Whatever you do, understand that many others have suffered from the same kind of trauma before, and you are part of a tremendously important journey of recovery from your own experience.
Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out how Scott can help you recover from school violence.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.
Navigating Long Distance Relationship Challenges
Do you feel tired of having to struggle with logistics in a long distance relationship? Do you and your partner struggle to maintain a feeling of closeness in such a situation? If so, then this post is for you!
Read more4 Ways Therapy Helps in Healing Emotional Neglect
Did you grow up in a home where the adults didn’t pay much attention to you? Do you feel like you have always been someone who has always felt responsible for others? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you probably suffered from some degree of emotional neglect as a child and would do well to continue reading.
Read more4 Ways Couples Therapy Can Help You Navigate Through Survival Mode
Do you feel like you and your partner are just trying to get by and make do all the time? Do you sometimes feel like you and your partner are barely hanging on? If you answered yes to either of these questions then you may very well be living in survival mode, and I encourage you to read on!
Read moreHow Trauma Can Make Safety Feel Boring or Unfamiliar
Do you find boredom tends to be a trigger for you? Do you find yourself continually seeking excitement? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you may struggle with safety if you are a trauma survivor, so I urge you to read on.
Read moreEmotional Flooding in Couples and What To Do About It
Are there times when you’re with your partner where you want to say something, but you just can’t seem to find the words? Do you sometimes wind up saying things to your partner that you don’t intend to out of spite or anger? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you probably are experiencing some degree of emotional flooding and need to learn how to cope with this positively.
Read moreDo You Suffer from Functional Freeze?
Do you tend to go on auto pilot in reaction to stressful situations? Do you tend to react to stressful situations by acting as if nothing really happened? Do you have a chronic sense of disconnection from reality in these situations? If you answered yes to two or more of these questions then you may suffer from functional freeze, and would do well to read on.
Read moreWatch My Recent Interview on Good Morning Frederick!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXW9mA-bUmM&t=2648s
Transcript from interview. Starts at 32:30 minutes:
Disclaimer: the views of the program hosts are not necessarily those of Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW-C.
Dani Gurrie: How are you Scott?
Scott: I’m doing well, thank you. How are you?
Dani: I’m great, thank you so much. So we just chatted on the phone recently and you are a licensed clinical social worker. Those are the letters you’ve earned after your name, plus others I’m sure, so tell me a little bit about your practice and we’ll talk a little bit about why you do what you do
Scott: Well, I practice mental health counseling on TJ Drive here in Frederick and I’ve been in this line of work for what’s going on 17 years now, and I specialize in working with people who have trauma issues and developed more of niche recently and working with men who have compulsive or addictive sexual behavior and after doing that for 5 to 10 years now have developed an ability to get into their heads as far as what they are struggling with in their relationships and have become more of a relationship coach for them and that led me into being interested in working with couples who struggle with infidelity. In particular, some kind of entrepreneurs and executive gentlemen that I’ve worked with. They struggled with relationship issues, even though they were very successful and their careers. A lot of them have relationships basically dumpster fires, and working with them in their partners is really a new direction that I’ve started heading in just because you know, a lot of people struggle with issues infidelity all the way from emotional affairs to out and out sex addiction, which a number of my clients going back and struggle with in their lives.
Dani: Yeah and I think you know it was interesting cause we were actually just talking about like the mental health issues in the United States as a whole, certainly after hearing about the young person with a gun in the school and in Montgomery County, you know we feel like that there is a lot that can be done to help people and I know when I talk with therapists like yourself once you kind of get out into the public, your schedules get booked up very quickly, so I mean, I guess it’s a good thing that people are seeking out mental health support but what are you finding as a therapist in your recent years. Do you find more people find it acceptable and are seeking you out to help?
Scott: Yes, yeah definitely. Especially with the younger generations. I have two stepsons who are Zoomers and then some niece and nephews who are Millennials and fortunately for them, they seem to have fewer compunctions about reaching out for help, and like well I have to do it on my own and I have to take care of myself, even though I’ve worked with older adults in the early part of my career, that’s a strength that they’re willing to reach out for help and that’s become a significant part of my private practice now is working with some of this younger generation, although I still see some older adults, because you know I’m not as young as I used to be, I spent a goodly number of years in my former career of public and private education. I can appreciate a lot of what, you know, the school struggles are these days, so I’m sorry to hear about that young man.
Dani: Yeah and you know couples therapy too. I mean, obviously you know if you look at the divorce rate in the United States over the past 50 years I mean, it’s literally just continues to increase so you know I think it’s very important for people to, I guess not not make that the number one results how do you help couples kind of move past the hey we’re gonna get a divorce to hey, we’re gonna try to figure out if we can make this work like what what does that look like?
Scott: Well, it has to do with understanding that as a partner in a couple relationship, a married relationship chiefly, that you are part of an ecosystem that is bigger than you being part of a couple and that adds a lot to your life. Sure you can be independent, you know totally independent and not need anybody, but that’s not really something that most people you know have is their number one you know focus in life because just as things have evolved in our society the primacy of a partner relationship has taken on more significance and to be able to learn to function in a relationship in a way that fosters growth in that coupleship rather than it’s just being for me and I’ll just do what I want and I won’t take any consideration for what my partner thanks for feels you know that’s that’s a prescription for misery unfortunately conscious of a lot of people in their couple relationships is like what’s in this for me, and is that there’s a lot in there for you rather even if you’re not focused totally on yourself.
Dani: Right yeah and a lot of people don’t realize that you know as couples navigate their relationship you bring with you all the traumas or baggage I guess so to speak from your whole life, and if those aren’t worked out, it’s very difficult to have an emotionally secure relationship with anyone much less a spouse with all of the, you know, stresses that go on with just being married having kids navigating all of that and yeah, just trying to kind of fix yourself as much as you can before you can give it to someone else yeah oh I see pet loss trauma. I’m looking through your blog right now and yeah that’s that tough one when people I mean look our four-legged friends are a family really, for sure, I like it. What is that if you could offer kind of a little free advice today if someone is having a hard time in their marriage, you know what are a couple things that someone could do right now to help bring up or look to therapy you know how do you bring that up to a partner who may not have been open to hearing that in the past or maybe it’s not been discussed and partly it can be a situation where if, you know your partner is not otherwise gonna seek out help or treatment then you encouraging the two of you to go to couples therapy to be potentially less intimidating then say well I think you need therapy help and sometimes that’s the only way to get some people into therapy is through couples therapy. But just being very intentional about trying to find ways where you can make your relationship better if you’re not prone to speaking up to your partner about things that are bothering you and your growth agenda is probably going to speak up or if you’re like well this is what I want and you’ve gotta give it to me then think about what do I need to do to potentially dial that back because I may be the one who’s the only one speaking out in the relationship and my partner speak up for themselves on behalf of the relationship at least some of the time and what about for young?
Dani: Yea and what about for anyone maybe who is not married yet but maybe in a committed relationship thinking about getting married maybe they’re engaged do you have some advice for them on maybe seeking out some couples therapy kind of pre-marriage and before maybe anything is actually happened to make sure they’re on the same page about is that anything that you would recommend or offer?
Scott: Certainly, I have a couple of couples that are, a couple of couples, at least a few are not married in the process of exploring increasing their commitment, younger and older and just helping them identify what kind of a relationship is that that you both want, number one and then if you both want the same kind of relationship in terms of, you know, just different aspects of it and what’s getting in the way of you having that kind of relationship. That being said, it is a little bit harder with couples who are not already married to push them. I don’t want to say push, but to lead them further and increasing their degree of commitment that might not be ready to go into yet so that makes a little more dicey because you know unless they’re married and they’ve been together a long time there’s gonna be more inclination to be like, well you know, I think I’ll just try somebody else for another situation because the heat‘s getting a little bit too intense in here.
Dani: Right. Yeah well if you want to reach out to Scott you can do so his website is scottkampschaeferlcsw.com. Welcome to Frederick I know you have been here for a while, but you originally come from Houston welcome to a Maryland winter. I mean it’s really a shock to all of our systems even if you’ve been here before, but we’re so glad you’re part of our community and helping people both individually and as couples, you know, have a great relationship and find some peace and happiness. I think that’s what we all want for sure.
Scott: Thank you so much for having me on Dani. It’s been a pleasure.
Visit our page on couples therapy to find out how Scott can help you in your relationship.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.
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Have you ever felt that what you were feeling or thinking was being invalidated by friends, family, or loved ones? Have you ever felt cut off from feelings after not having your thoughts or feelings respected? If you answered yes to either of these two questions, then your brain needs you to free the rest of this post for today.
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Read morePet Loss Trauma: Why It's Real and How Therapy Helps
Do you tend to minimize the loss of a pet because of so many other things that seem to distract you from it? Do you feel you ‘don’t have time’ to grieve your pet even though the loss feels traumatic to you? Do you keep reliving some awful memories of how your pet died or of their decline before their death? If you answered ‘yes’ to 2 or more of the above questions, you may have pet loss trauma and would do well to read on.
Read moreRelationship Therapy for Couples with Caregiver Responsibilities
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Read moreHow to Heal From Trauma Caused by Toxic Relationships
Do you ever feel worn down because of a prior relationship you were in? Do you wonder if you’ll ever be able to connect meaningfully with other partners after a painful break up? If you answered yes to either of these two questions then you may be struggling with the aftermath of a toxic relationship, and would do well to continue reading.
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Do you find you and your partner repeatedly butting heads over issues that seem relatively insignificant on the surface? Do you tend to feel “dug in“ when you bring up a particular issue with your relationship partner? Do you find it hard to listen to what they’re saying, without thinking of a counter argument, or a counterpoint to what they’re saying? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then you’re probably stuck in a power struggle and would do well to continue reading.
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