Do you find boredom tends to be a trigger for you? Do you find yourself continually seeking excitement? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you may struggle with safety if you are a trauma survivor, so I urge you to read on.
The Experience of Safety is a Rarity in Present Times
You may spend a lot of your time longing for a feeling of safety, perhaps looking back to the past with nostalgia in thinking we were truly OK back then. In one sense that may very well be true, because the past is not filled with an experience of uncertainty that we have to deal with in the present, and looking towards the future. It is true, however, that we individually and collectively face dangers today that generations didn’t face in the past. That doesn’t mean the past was a utopia, of course!
Safety Can Truly Feel Unfamiliar Much of the Time
If you have grown up with any experience of trauma, the feeling of safety can be nonexistent or extremely elusive at best! One of my colleagues recently said that no one can be truly safe in the absence of others who are not able to act with their own and each other‘s best interest at heart. That doesn’t mean there are times when we aren’t free from trouble or strife, but the experience of trauma is one that tends to make us hypervigilant and feeling like the next shoe is about to drop.
How Trauma Can Interfere With a Feeling of Safety
One thing to understand about trauma is that being exposed to it tends to affect our biology, as well as our mental health. When we are severely or chronically stressed by the effects of trauma, it increases secretions of adrenaline in our body in our brains. This tends to affect a small part of our brain, called the amygdala, which will tend to get enlarged with repeated exposure to danger or some form of abuse. The result is a feeling of hypervigilance, as I mentioned above. This keeps us on guard at all times and causes us to catastrophize about future dangers, regardless of whether any of them are immediately present. Safety can seem unreachable with such an experience.
When Safety Becomes a Trigger
Many people who suffer from trauma can often develop addictions as a way to treat the trauma, which can show up in the form of chronic anxiety or depression. Many of my clients who have sex addiction report that boredom is a trigger for this. I can’t help but wonder if the boredom isn’t some form of safety that just isn’t stimulating somehow, and they go out trying to seek stimulation as a way to feel more “normal.“ One of the characteristics identified by the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) program is “we became addicted to excitement.“ This is another possible result of being traumatized.
What If You Struggle With Having Safety in Your Life?
It may seem like safety is something that you simply can’t find no matter how hard you try, or that your life is just totally boring and you need more stimulation in it. Many of my clients have complained about either one or both of these situations. What I provide for my clients is an experience of security that’s therapeutic for them, as well as challenging them to do the work of recovery that leads to true fulfillment and rewarding experiences of excitement that are not self-destructive. I encourage you to call the number at the top of the page, click on the schedule consultation button above, or fill out an inquiry form below if you live in VA or MD and I will get back to you ASAP to have or schedule a 15 minute free consultation to give you a better idea about whether I could help you with your experience of trauma. Life is meant to provide you with an experience of security, perhaps one that you’ve never really known or embraced to date.
Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out how Scott can help you in having true experiences of safety.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.