Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed and panicky in relation to a traumatic experience you’ve had? Do you sometimes feel numb or emotionally shut down when you are reminded of a traumatic experience from the past? In either of these instances, you are out of your window of tolerance, and need to be able to get into it. So read on if you answered yes to either of these above.
Many People Struggle with the Window of Tolerance in These Times
One of the key problems people who suffer from trauma experience is not being in their window of tolerance. This can go to either one of two extremes, and finding this state is about being somewhere in the middle. Sometimes people are too on edge in reaction to traumatic experiences, and sometimes people are totally checked out in one way or another from the trauma they’ve experienced. Either of these are problems, but both of them can be remedied.
Just What is The Window of Tolerance?
The window of tolerance with respect to trauma is an old concept that describes a state where one is able to tolerate their feelings and reactions to the trauma in any given moment. You can think and feel simultaneously, and your reactions adapt to fit the particular situation that you’re in at the moment. The problem for most people is that because of their trauma, their way of dealing with presence situations is to react to them like they reacted to situations from the past that traumatized them. In such cases, there’s a lack of fit between the present circumstances and one’s reaction to them because of something that happened previously that threw them into a state of trauma.
How You Can Be Out of the Window of Tolerance
People who experience trauma are pretty much naturally going to be out of their window of tolerance. This can take either one of two forms: one is chronic hyperarousal, and the other is chronic hypoarousal. Hyperarousal involves experiencing emotional overwhelm, panic, impulsivity, hypervigilance, defensiveness, feeling unsafe, being reactive, angry, or having racing thoughts. When someone is in hypoarousal much for most of the time, they may typically feel numb or ‘dead,’ feel passive, have no feelings or energy, be unable to think, feel disconnected, feel shut down, be not present, feel ashamed, be unable to say no, or be in a persistent state of intoxication from a substance use issue. In neither of these instances are you responding to any situation at hand. This is equivalent to being completely out of the present moment. Like I said above, that’s a challenge in our times, but there are ways that you can cope with it.
Some Ways to Get in The Window of Tolerance
Deep breathing: this is a form of breathing that is also called vagal breathing, and it serves to calm your nervous system down if you’re in a state of hyperarousal so that you can respond to present stimuli instead of reacting like you did to some past trauma.
Connecting with your five senses: this involves engaging with each of your five senses, or as many of them as you can in the present moment in order to re-orient yourself to the here and now. For example, if you’re outside, touching blades of grass or leaves on a tree, listening for the sound of the wind, and noticing colors that you see around you.
Jump up and down to counter a state of hypo arousal, as well as stretching, or clenching and releasing your fists.
These are just a few possible ways to help to get you in your window of tolerance, but the main thing is to take positive action when you realize you’re out of it.
What if You Continue to Struggle in Being in The Window of Tolerance?
If you’re one of the many people who struggled to stay in a window of tolerance without engaging in some addictive behavior or other self-destructive form of coping, then you probably need professional help. I’ve been helping my clients in dealing with their trauma and getting in the window of tolerance for my entire social work career. I would be happy to talk to you so you can get a better idea about whether I can help you with your problem in a free 15 minute phone consult. All you need to do if you live in Maryland or Virginia is to either call the number at the top of the page or fill out the form below and I would be happy to schedule a free consult so you can get a better idea about whether I can help you with your situation. Being able to live in the here and now is largely a matter of being able to stay in a state of relative balance without being thrown off by situations that you can respond to in a healthy manner instead. I encourage you to reach out for the help that you need to recover from your own trauma.
Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out how Scott can help you to get in the window of tolerance.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.