Do you tend to minimize the loss of a pet because of so many other things that seem to distract you from it? Do you feel you ‘don’t have time’ to grieve your pet even though the loss feels traumatic to you? Do you keep reliving some awful memories of how your pet died or of their decline before their death? If you answered ‘yes’ to 2 or more of the above questions, you may have pet loss trauma and would do well to read on.
Pet Loss Trauma is a Real Problem Now
Losing pets is nothing new, but how they die is increasingly important for their owners. If you were very attached to your pet, losing them is like losing a member of your human family. If they died painful deaths or had a long an ugly decline before dying, it can very much weigh on you. Add to that the practically unlimited possibility for second-guessing a decision to euthanize a pet, and you have a big likelihood of developing pet loss trauma in relation to these kinds of losses.
Pet Loss Trauma Can Be a Normal Reaction
As I mentioned above, there are some unique reasons that pet loss trauma has the potential to be significant. Not the least of these is having a pet euthanized and how it happens. When a pet is euthanized humanely, it can make a big difference in whether pet owners develop trauma or not. If you were doing a lot of caregiving for a pet for an extended period of time, that can potentially lead to a lot of guilt and remorse for decisions that you made along the way. Depending on how the vets that saw the pet discussed their care with you, that could either help how you reacted to the loss or not. If they acted in guilt-inducing ways, such as suggesting you should try every possible option to save them regardless of the cost, that could also add to the potential emotional repercussions of the loss.
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."Anatole France
How Therapy Helps Pet Loss Trauma
The first thing that therapy does for pet owners is to help them be able to talk about the loss and identify the feelings that pet owners carry after the loss of their pet. This can help you have an outlet to express your grief feelings about the loss. Being able to identify and express your grief feelings will go a long way to helping you to get closure on the loss. If there were indeed some traumatic circumstances related to the loss, therapists can use trauma therapies like EMDR to help process the loss such that it doesn’t bother you going forward. At that point, the grief feelings you have are just those that anyone would have after losing a pet. Sadness is much more manageable than the shock, shame, and intense guilt that can potentially linger with pet loss trauma.
How to Know If You Need Professional Help with Pet Loss Trauma
Pet loss trauma is different for different people. I’ve been helping my clients in coping with pet loss and trauma for most of my social work career. I would be happy to talk with you to give you a better idea about whether I can help you in your situation. The saying that time heals all wounds is not true in the case of traumatic losses, so I encourage you to reach out to me by calling the number at the top of the page, clicking the button above for a free consultation, or filling out an inquiry form below if you live in Maryland or Virginia, and I will be happy to talk with you in a free 15 minute phone consultation to help you determine the best way to address your situation. Pets are some of the closest relationships we may ever have in our time on this planet, so grieving the loss of them in the most helpful and thorough manner possible can do great justice to their memory and the place they occupy in our lives and hearts. Take a step towards healing today!
Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out how Scott can help you in recovering from pet loss trauma.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.