Have you ever wondered why you keep expecting bad things to happen? Do you find yourself having trouble enjoying positive things in your life because of expecting bad things to follow them? If you answered yes to either one of these questions, then I do urge you to read on!
Present Times and the Worst Case Scenario
It’s no wonder that in the day and the time we live in, so many people are continually worried about things going wrong. Our present time is marked by perhaps more uncertainty than at any time in living memory.
Many People Suffer from Waiting for the Next Shoe to Drop
There’s so much tumultuousness and chaos in most areas of human life that it’s natural to consider the worst case scenario. The problem comes when this is always happening and keeps you from enjoying life in a moment to moment way. In these cases, the specter of bad things happening can crowd out your ability to enjoy and appreciate the good things that you have in your life.
How Trauma Can Keep the Shoe Waiting to Drop
If you grew up in a neglectful or abusive family, you had to think about the bad things that could happen in order to protect yourself from further damage from being disappointed or betrayed by your caregivers.
The problem is, as you grow up, this adaptive pattern you learn as a child becomes outmoded. Hopefully you no longer live in an abusive family, and even if there is some negativity or chaos in your everyday world, it doesn’t serve you to be continually on guard for it.
The Shoe Dropped a Long Time Ago
The thing that you’re anticipating coming up is merely a reflection of something bad that happened a long time ago. The effects of that trauma continue to echo through the decades so that it winds up keeping you from being able to enjoy life in its present form.
How to Put That Shoe Away
If you find yourself worrying and obsessing about what might go wrong going forward, there are a couple of things you can do to cope with this. One thing is to find a place where you can figuratively put things that you’re worrying about and can’t do anything about so that you can be more able to experience the present moment. It could be a box, it could be a safe, it could be a room far, far away, where you put things that you tend to obsess about so that you can hopefully be more present in the moment.
Getting Into the Flow Can Also Help
Anything that you do that helps you to be less aware of the passage of time and that gives you enjoyment is also important to engage in. This can include artistic activities, movement or dance, or some creative outlet that you can become immersed in and not focus so much on negativity.
Along these lines, any mindfulness or meditation practice that helps you focus on the present moment is important for being able to put that shoe away as well.
When to Seek Professional Help for Trauma?
If you find that no matter how hard you try, you can’t keep yourself from being aware of that shoe that’s about to drop in your own mind, then it’s probably a good time to seek out professional help.
I and others like me can be very helpful in addressing the core of people’s trauma and the reason that they are always thinking about that shoe, whatever form it might take. Do understand there is help out there, and I encourage you to take the next steps you need to heal and recover.
Written by Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW–C
Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out how Scott can help you in addressing catastrophic thinking.
