Do you sometimes think that an AI girlfriend would be the solution to your problems with loneliness? Do you feel that a Chatbot alternative to your current relationship will somehow magically make you happy? Do you tend to look to media or digital distractions to fill a void in your life? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then I urge you to read today’s offering.
AI Girlfriends and Our Modern Struggle
We are in a time where ever more promotion is going into the wonders of AI and how it can solve basically all of our problems, but so much less time and attention are going into how to help people to have and to enhance human relationships. This isn’t a coincidence, as rampant consumerism tries to get us to think that the answer is somewhere out there in a multi-verse we see when we watch commercials or see images of happy people and couples. An AI girlfriend is just an extension of this.
The Appeal of AI Girlfriends is Understandable
After all, who wouldn’t want a partner who says what you want to hear, and you can imagine and conceivably create them to look and sound the way you want them to. This is all very appealing to think about and put yourself in that position, but the problem is that machines and fantasies cannot fulfill our need for real human connection and love.
The AI Girlfriend Can Ghost You Too
Although this story doesn’t involve a girlfriend, but a boyfriend instead, it still serves as a cautionary tale for anyone who’s seeking to find fulfillment and security in an AI relationship. I was told this by a colleague who is familiar with the case of a woman who had an AI boyfriend and one day woke up to discover that she could not access him anymore because the chat bot had changed in its programming and structure somehow to have erased the boyfriend‘s personality. This resulted in much devastation emotionally for the woman who had created this partner over perhaps many weeks or months and become attached to him. The point here is that regardless of how alluring AI girlfriends can be, they are subject to the same principle of uncertainty that all our human relationships are as well. Love can be ‘written in sand’ just the same with an AI chatbot as it can with a human partner, and the sooner we realize that the more we can choose to focus on ways that we can meet and interact with potential human partners instead.
The Problem with AI Girlfriends is ‘User Error’
In computing the term ‘user error’ often comes up in relation to problems people have with interfacing with computers. I’ll use the term user error here in referring to how the person mistakes an AI chatbot for something that’s more real and substantial, namely an actual human relationship. Many people who have these AI chatbot girlfriends or boyfriends have become sex, love, or fantasy addicts over the course of their lives. The fantasy addict always seeks something in their imagination that can offset the disappointment in relationships that they experience in the real world, but they can never erase the pain of disappointment they are trying to medicate.
What If You Struggle with Breaking Free from AI Girlfriends
The appeal of AI girlfriends can be very strong and I’m not putting any blame on anyone who uses them. If you realize that it’s a problem for you and you want to get help for it, I’m a good person to start with. I’ve been helping my clients with their issues with sex, love and fantasy addiction for my entire social work career, and I would be happy to help you in yours. I encourage you to call the number at the top of the page or fill out an inquiry form below if you live in Maryland, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible to schedule a free consult to help give you a better idea of whether I can help you with your situation. Real and fulfilling relationships in the human ‘multiverse’ are entirely possible once you break free from your addiction to fantasy. Take the first step in doing that today!
Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to find out how Scott can help you with AI girlfriends.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.