You’ve probably heard the saying “Just let go of it” about as many times as you can stomach. Does it make you upset when you hear people talk about this so flippantly? You’re not alone. There are many other people who have tried and tried to ‘let go’ of the past with varying degrees of futility. I’ll explain why it’s so hard and what you can do about it.
The Past is Not the Past
Most people have one foot in the present and one foot in the past. Maybe they also have a foot in the future, but that’s because their past has influenced them to be that way. My brother, who is a very experienced psychologist and psychoanalyst in Oklahoma, likes to quote a famous Irish saying that ‘The past is not the past.’ This is because that’s the way the mind works. We are all very influenced by the past whether we like to believe it or not. In fact, one of the key psychological concepts called transference suggests that most of what we do is influenced by our past experience...the further back we go the more influence it exerts.
How Can We Deal With It?
Most people talk about letting go of the past as an act of will. It’s not. Others will suggest that using affirmations or reading self-help books, or doing yoga can counteract the effects of the past. They don’t. Certainly not with any lasting effect. Like it or not, we are all subject to varying degrees of transference reactions. It depends on whether you’ve experienced trauma as a result of your past experiences. If you have, then trauma therapy is the best way to counteract the effects of the past. You know you’ve experienced trauma when something has so deeply affected you, you always remember it the same way, and with very unpleasant emotions that often accompany it. Sometimes there are memory gaps or amnesia surrounding trauma. That can make it more difficult to process, but there are still ways of getting at it. If you haven’t experienced trauma, then garden-variety therapy may be all you need, but it is important to examine childhood issues and be open to talking about them in such a way that you can get the therapist’s take on it and really let it sink in. Sometimes group therapy can be very helpful as well and is less expensive than individual therapy.
What I Can Do About It
I use trauma therapy and also have a psychoanalytic approach to therapy, which is about how the past, especially childhood, has affected you. I have been helping people overcome trauma and deep-seated issues from the past to recover for over 10 years now as a professional. I use 2 different forms of trauma therapy that have proven to resolve the trauma that can go with the past in most cases. I personally think the past makes such a big impression on us because there is something to be learned or overcome in facing it and overcoming the ‘demons’ that we perceive in the past is important for our soul growth. In any case, getting professional help for the issues that have hampered you in your life is an important turning point in no longer being alone in addressing these issues. I offer free 15-minute phone consultations so you can get an idea for yourself if I can help. You can reach me by voice at 512-648-3053, or fill out the form below. You owe it to yourself and the ones you love to be as free of the past as is humanly possible. Best wishes on your journey, whatever direction you choose to go!
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Austin, Texas. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His new e-book is entitled Life’s Lessons from the Young and the Old and is available for purchase on Amazon.
Visit our page on trauma therapy to learn more about how Scott can help you with trauma.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, MD. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His new book is entitled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.