Do you have concerns that your partner is cheating on you, but can’t point to anything egregious they’re doing? Do you find yourself struggling with trust because of how your partner behaves? If you answered yes to either one of these questions, then you’re probably dealing with some form of “micro-cheating” and would do well to read on!
“Micro-cheating”: A New Name For An Old Problem
There’s nothing new about the phenomenon of “micro-cheating,” but it probably helps to have a name put to it. As more and more people put more and more focus on their primary relationships, this form of cheating is bound to become more and more of an issue.
Just What is “Micro-cheating"?
There are numerous sources out there about what this form of cheating consists of, but suffice it to say that it’s behavior that may not be as serious as other forms of cheating, but it can be considered to be that all the same. It can range all the way from your partner setting up a dating profile and indicating availability to get likes and to interact with people, or be as extensive as having an emotional affair. None of this is OK if you’re in a monogamous relationship, but it can appear to be not a big deal to your partner.
The Problem Here is One of Perception
If you discover your partner engaged in “microcheating,” then you would understandably become upset and question the commitment or exclusivity of your partner. This is because your partner basically is either cheating or trying to cheat on you somehow. They may minimize it and say that it’s nothing, but that doesn’t take away from your experience of a lack of trust.
“Micro-cheating” Invariably Diminishes Trust
For many couples, there has already been an obvious infidelity before the “micro-cheating" happens. In this case, it definitely sets a couple back in terms of the process of rebuilding trust. This is primarily on the involved or offending partner to do this, and it certainly indicates a setback for your relationship and problems with them and maintaining an exclusive relationship.
What To Do About “Micro-cheating”
If you’re the partner that catches your relationship partner engaging in this behavior, then it’s important to call that to their attention. Depending on how they respond or react, that can make a big difference in the fate of your relationship. It is however, important for you to confront them with this at some point so you can make decisions based on it. It may signal the downward trend in the relationship towards potential break up, or it could be potentially something that’s not an issue if you are satisfied with their explanation.
When to Get Help
If "micro-cheating” has become a pattern in your relationship with you or your partner, then seeking professional help can be a very important way to help reverse the pattern of eroding trust in your relationship and/or help you both make a decision on whether to end the relationship or not. I encourage you to call the number of the top of the page, click on the schedule consultation button above, or fill out an inquiry form below, and I will get back to you ASAP if you live in VA or MD to schedule a free 20 minute virtual consult to give you both a better idea about whether I can help you in your situation. Clarity is an important thing to have, especially if you feel like you’re lacking trust in your relationship. I urge you to take the next right step to get that today.
Visit our page on infidelity therapy to find out how Scott can help you and your relationship with micro cheating.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.