Has your marriage or relationship recently experienced infidelity of some sort? Do you find yourself struggling to trust your partner no matter what they say? Are you tempted to stray and cheat on your partner because of current circumstances you find yourself in? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you very well may find something to help in this week's page on the topic.
Infidelity is Becoming a Much Bigger Problem in the Present
So many relationships are currently troubled by issues related to infidelity of some type. It used to be mainly the husband who might find a mistress and cheat on his wife, but these days it can be both males and females that are cheating in all kinds of relationships. This has also been worsened by how some relationships are not only affected by someone outside the relationship, but others can also be affected by porn use, AI generated girlfriends and boyfriends, etc. As time has gone on more and more ways to potentially cheat on your partner have evolved, so in many respects the problem of infidelity is worse than it’s ever been.
Many Relationships Suffer From Infidelity
As the problem with infidelity has gotten more multifaceted, more and more partners in relationships are struggling because of cheating of one sort or another. The rate of relationships that struggle because of cheating doesn’t have an exact percentage, but it is well established that 2/3 of relationships survive infidelity, even without couples therapy. So now more than ever, no one is alone and struggling with the issue of their partners cheating on them at some point. A lot depends on what you and/or your partner agree constitutes cheating, though.
Regardless of the situation, there are some basic elements or tripwires to what leads people to engage in infidelity:
Opportunity: as I mentioned above, it was more the case that men would go out on their spouses because they were the ones that were out in the work world more. Now, both women and men have similar opportunities to stray in their relationships because of so many more women being in the workforce for one thing.
Kindness: often people will wind up cheating with others who show them kindness, even more so than someone who is particularly attractive. Attention and interest shown can appear to make up for deficits in one’s current relationship.
Access: the nearly total availability of Internet access in the developed world for certain has contributed to infidelity, particularly by people who have addiction issues to the Internet, sexual compulsivity of some kind, or love addiction issues.
Lack of emotional intimacy: when a couple lacks emotional intimacy, their ability to be close emotionally suffers. Sometimes this also relates to lack of physical intimacy, which will tend to lead partners to seek fulfillment in one or both of these areas outside of their primary relationship.
How to Work With the Trip Wires of infidelity
If you notice one of these issues is a weak spot for your current relationship, then you could potentially find ways to decrease the risk of infidelity in your relationship if you have concerns about this. For example, if you find that kindness is lacking in your relationship, then find ways to change that on your part. Treating your partner with kindness can go a long way towards decreasing the risk of cheating. Conversely, if you find that you are getting into a cycle of anger and contempt with your partner on a regular basis, then getting support to short circuit this could help kindness to come in also. Finding ways to increase emotional intimacy is also important for decreasing the chances of your partner straying can also be critical. Most often couples therapy can help with this.
What If You Continue to Struggle with Tripwires for Infidelity?
Addressing this problem with one’s partner directly is very important for eventual recovery from infidelity. And while 2/3 of couples in relationships do survive infidelity, the need is for a new relationship to emerge from the ashes of the one that has been marred by the stain of cheating. I’ve been helping my clients to address and overcome issues with cheating for my entire social work career, and I would be happy to talk to you to help you get a better idea about whether I can help you in your particular situation. Feel free to call the number at the top of the page, or to fill out an inquiry form below if you live in Maryland or Virginia, and I can get back to you within 24 hours to schedule a free 20-minute interactive consult. You, your relationship, and your family all stand to gain from getting professional help to put your relationship on new ground. You and your relationship deserve the best foundation possible for recovery from the blight of cheating. I encourage you to take the first step towards having a better future today!
Visit our page on infidelity therapy to find out how Scott can help you deal with the tripwires for infidelity.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.