If you enjoyed watching the Barbie movie, and find it causes you to question your primary relationship, you’re not alone. Did you watch it and think that you were looking at some kind of upside down world? If you did, then you’re not alone either, but this movie does have positive implications for our partnered relationships going forward.

The Barbie Movie Exposes the Problem with Relationships These Days

We are at a time in our world and culture where some of the most firmly held beliefs are being called into question. This is probably true more in the arena of relationships than perhaps anywhere else. We’ve lived in a male-dominated culture for so long that it seems like that’s just the way things are supposed to be. But when watching the Barbie movie, you see a world that is dominated and basically run by women. It’s not that men don’t have any role to play in that world, but the idea of a female-dominated culture is actually not such a foreign idea.

The Barbie Movie Isn’t Anti-Male

At first blush you may think that Barbie is somehow meant to be a criticism and insult towards men. It’s actually meant to be a critique of patriarchal culture, and a call to equality and democracy in relationships. The fact that Ken feels like he doesn’t have any life aside from being in a relationship with Barbie is more a sign of how men can get lost in their relationships. The same is true for women, but when we are encouraged to each have equal standing in relationships, then each partner is mutually empowered. That’s what becomes clear by the end of the movie, and is all for the better of the partnership.

The Barbie Movie and Equality in Relationships

If you feel like you are either looking down at your partner in your relationship or you are looking up at them with regard to your stature, then you know the difficulties that that kind of relationship can entail. When we relate to a partner from anything other than an equal standing, then one is feeling inferior and the other is feeling superior. This creates all kinds of problems in the relationship because of the essential problem of contempt. If you feel superior to your partner then you may feel contemptuous of them, and if you feel inferior in your relationship, you will either be contemptuous of yourself or resentful of your partner. You may also feel like you can’t have your own boundaries…or even know how to set them to take care of yourself. If you can’t take care of yourself in the relationship, then both of you suffer.

The Barbie Movie As Inspiration for Mutual Empowerment 

When both you and your partner are on equal footing in your relationship, then both of you can grow and prosper together. The old saying is you grow together in relationship or you grow apart. The relationship becomes a mirror or reflection of the ideal situation in society, where everyone has equal value and intrinsic worth in relation to each other as our US Constitution so eloquently suggests. People can grow when they are free of a sense of being either less than or greater than. You see that at the end of the Barbie movie where Barbie, Ken, and all the other inhabitants of Barbieland are experiencing a state of equality with each other. It’s a reflection of the essential nature of human existence, which is that we are all created equal, and have equal worth in relation to one another. If we have this going on in our relationships, then we are more inclined to take that view into our everyday world. And this can eventually transform our divided and unequal culture into a more inclusive, welcoming, and fulfilling place to live for everyone.

What If You Still Feel Like You Compare Negatively to the Barbie Movie Ideal?

Many women have compared themselves negatively to Barbie over the years, but it’s been more about her appearance than anything else. If you feel like your relationship does not live up to the ideals of the Barbie movie, and you feel like you need more help with your relationship, then it may be a good idea to seek professional help. I’ve been helping my individual clients and couples to foster a sense of equality and mutuality in their relationships for years now. If you would like to get a better idea about whether I can help you and your relationship, and live in Texas from Maryland, I’d be happy to give you a free 20 minute video consult to get a better idea about that. Just fill out the form below, or you can call my number at the top of the page and I will get back to you as soon as I can to schedule this. You deserve the kind of relationship that will help you to grow and thrive as a human being, and taking the step of reaching out for help with that could be one of the most positive and transformative experiences you’ve ever taken.

Visit our page on couples therapy to find out more about how Scott can help you and your relationship to thrive.

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.