Have you ever wondered why you wind up engaging in compulsive behavior?  Do you find yourself asking how you got here after bingeing on porn or some substance you know you should give up?  Well, read on because you suffer from being triggered and this is one blog you need to read.  

What Is A Trigger?

A trigger is anything that happens to you, internally or externally, that leads you to relapse into addictive behavior.  It can be anything as small as an angry look from a stranger to the death of a loved one or family member. It can be a negative thought that causes a spiral into shame or craving, or a feeling that seems to have come from out of nowhere to lead you back down a rabbit hole.  The main problem is that something has happened to cause you to relapse into some uncontrollable behavior that you seem to have no ability to stop.  

Who Suffers From Triggers?

Anyone who could be said to suffer from a compulsion of any kind can be considered to be subject to triggers.  Any many, many people have compulsions. These range from alcoholism to food addiction to out of control sexual behavior, which is one of my specialties.  One common denominator is how people can relapse into behavior they have come to hate because of how people, places, things, thoughts and feelings can lead them back into these cycles of relapse that otherwise would they would be free of.  One of the recent examples I’ve heard of has to do with how a certain highly trafficked porn site tends to get more traffic after college football championship games. Whether it’s the pain of losing or the desire to celebrate, this is an example of a trigger that increases people’s tendency to seek sexual gratification to either assuage their pain or tolerate the joy of their success.  Both winning and losing can be examples of this, but much depends on a person’s ability to tolerate their emotions and feelings.

What Can You Do To Cope With Triggers?

There are so many ways to cope with these, but not all of them are healthy.  Here are some of the healthy ones people use successfully to avoid descent into the abyss of compulsive behavior:

1.  Calling a friend to get support.  This can require a significant amount of courage, because the inclination to isolate with compulsive behavior is usually very high.  The reward for doing this can certainly be worth it, however.

2. Journaling.  Write down your thoughts and feelings and keep writing until the tone or content of your writing is either neutral or positive.  That’s the way to tell if you’ve written enough. 

3. Going to a support group meeting.  This is another of the ones involving other people, which is indispensable in overcoming compulsive behavior of any kind. 

4. Substitute a positive for a negative behavior:  this one could involve one of the previous three, but the idea is to have a list of alternative behaviors that are either neutral or positive and go to one of those when triggered to avoid relapse.  Having a pre-made list is a key here to help increase the likelihood of success.

5. Exercise:  This is one of the best and simplest ways to boost mood, and is an overall good way to cope with any kind of setback.  It helps your brain and your body by causing them to produce helpful chemicals that promote brain and bodily health, and decrease the effects of stress on the body.

What If None of These Work or Help?

Seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and many individuals with compulsions get outside help to improve their ability to overcome addictions and compulsions for the long-term.  I’ve been helping men who suffer from compulsive sexual behavior for around 10 years now as a therapist and can attest to the value of having professional help in overcoming addictive behavior. From teaching people techniques for emotional hygiene to actually targeting the source of the addictive behavior itself, getting therapy help can be the difference between life and death.  If you still have questions about whether therapy would help you, please give me a call at 512-648-3053 for a free 45-minute face-to-face consult if you suffer from compulsive or addictive sexual behavior, or you can fill out the form below for more information.  Your life, health, and peace of mind are too valuable to simply go it alone or tough it out.  If you have read this page, you are probably one of the few who stand a chance at long-term relief from your addiction or compulsion.  I encourage you to take the next step and reach out for the help you need!

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His new e-book is entitled Life’s Lessons from the Young and the Old and is available for purchase on Amazon.

Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to learn more about how Scott can help you with compulsive or addictive sexual behavior.